Effective Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship

Starting a long-distance relationship

Imagine your relationship with no arguments. The one where you can hear each other and be heard in return. What would it be like to know how each of you feels? How would you feel if you knew where your relationship is going?

Effective communication is a must in any relationship. In a long-distance relationship, your ability to express yourself and hear your partner is a key to make it work. With effective communication, you will be able to handle any problem you may face in a long-distance relationship.

We’ve all heard how important effective communication is for a healthy relationship. But this term can be quite ambiguous. I can mean one thing to you and something else to your partner.

For you to have effective communication in a your long-distance relationship, both you and your partner need to agree on what it is. Once you are on the same page, you can make a plan to build a strong and healthy relationship.


What is Effective Communication?

Effective communication in a relationship is the skill of expressing yourself. And doing so in a way that your partner understands you. When you express yourself it’s easy for your partner to understand what you want. Once they know what you want, they can do what you ask.

To communicate effectively, you need 2 things: clarity and understanding.

Open and honest communication is the foundation of your relationship. It allows you to share your feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. This goes both ways. 

We will see how you can do it shortly.


Why is Effective Communication Important for a Healthy Relationship?

Effective communication can help you find the source of your problems. Once you know the cause of the problem, you can find the solutions.
When you are next to each other, you can sense if something changes.

Communication through electronic devices doesn’t give you this sense of knowing. Your mind becomes full of doubt and adds extra pressure to your relationship. Effective communication can reassure you that your relationship is going great.


Effective Communication in a Long Distance Relationship?

Lack of clarity leads to assumptions and misunderstandings. This is one of the main reasons long-distance relationships fail. Sometimes we are afraid of getting clear because clarity means facing the truth.

We don’t always like what we see and we may ignore the issue altogether. This is ok for a holiday fling or a short-lasting relationship. But, if you are serious about making it work, clarity is a must.

Are you ready to bring clarity to your relationship and make the most of your time together?

You may feel that you do everything you can for your partner but are not getting anything in return. Your partner might even think the same. This sparks arguments because each person blames the other for not being understanding.

Instead of sharing love, couples waste precious time, growing resentful. Unfortunately, you can go on like this for years, unaware of it.


How to Communicate Effectively in a Long-Distance Relationship?

The only way to break this cycle of blame is to talk about it. Sure, you talk all the time, but is your partner hearing you the way you intend it? How you talk is what makes the difference. A slight improvement in communication can bring you and your partner closer together.

As promised, here is how you can express yourself so that your partner understands what you mean…

STEP 1: Get your partner’s attention

Effective Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship 1

When something comes to your mind, you may feel the need to share it with your partner. But they might think their own, ‘very important’ thoughts. Check that they are listening. Ask your partner if it’s a good time for them to hear you out and pay attention to what you have to say. If it is not a good time, tell them you would like to share something with them. Agree the time that would work for both of you.

STEP 2: Say what you need to say

A girl expressing her feelings in a long-distance relationship

Saying too much or too little can be a problem. 
It’s easy to overthink before saying something. By the time it comes out, we already gave it so much thought and importance. By overthinking we worry about our partner’s response. We question ourselves if we should say something or keep quiet.

Converse with your partner without having all these worries and fears. Express whatever is on your mind, knowing that your partner will understand what you mean.

This brings me to my next and final point…

STEP 3: Check your partner heard you

Effective Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship 2

We strongly need to share and who is better to do it with than the person closest to us, the person we trust.

Your partner cares about you, but it doesn’t mean that they care about everything you say. Don’t continue talking for over 2 minutes without a response. Don’t accept ‘uh-huh’ as a confirmation that they got what you are saying.

Ask your partner to repeat what they heard you say and see if it matches your intention. Observe their body language and facial expressions.


Conclusion

Communication in a long-distance relationship is slightly different from when you are face to face. When you share your feelings, it’s important to know that your partner heard you. To avoid misunderstandings when you make a plan, you need to make sure you are on the same page

Frequently Asked Questions

How often should you communicate in a long-distance relationship?

Every relationship has an ideal number, although it’s more like a scale. Talk to your partner to discover how often is too often and what is not enough for each of you. Use the effective communication techniques described in this article to find what works for your relationship.

How do you communicate in a long-distance relationship?

The two aspects of communication are the means and frequency. In other words, what is your prefered method of communication and how often do you need to talk. Both of them aim to help you maintain the emotional connection. Work out these technicalities first, so you can focus on freely sharing your feelings.

Do you need to talk everyday in a long-distance relationship?

To feel the connection, a lot of couples in a long-distance relationship have a strong need to talk every day. And as long as it works for both of you, great. You may begin to notice problems when one of you wants to talk more often, while another needs to get on with their life. So next time you talk to your partner, check how they feel about your frequency of communication and if they prefer to talk more or less.

Is communication important in a long-distance relationship?

Communication is important in any relationship. In a long-distance relationship, it varies in some ways, which I covered in this article. The biggest difference is the lack of communication via physical touch. So it’s important to communicate with clarity and to make sure that your partner understands you.

How do you deal with silent treatment in a long-distance relationship?

Silent treatment shouldn’t exist in a healthy relationship. To key to having a successful relationship lies in your ability to work out your differences. A long-distance makes it harder to navigate a relationship as it is. Extra nonsense like the silent treatment will only make it more painful. Either find a way to work it out or end it (article).

Getting Some Help

I hope that this article answered some of your questions. If you are struggling and could do with more help, send me a message so we can talk about your situation in more detail.

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alex larryngton - health and relationship coach

Hi! I’m Alex.

Welcome to my blog. I spent my past 13 years learning and practicing holistic therapies. I also like to reflect on life and understand human behaviour. Over the past 19 years I’ve red different books from Dale Carnegie and Louise Hay to Joe Navarro and Marshall Rosenberg.

Feel free to browse my articles on relationships, health and check out the faq pages for common questions. 

If you need help or just want to connect, I’d love to hear from you.

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